Nobody wants to comment? EVER? Really? :-)

Maybe I'm just not interesting enough?  But I know there's people out there at least browsing at my blog, so I'd love to hear from you!

How am I going with my eating and exercising I hear you ask!  I'm actually doing really well.  I am still a bit undecided about which route I'll take though.  While I love the idea of 'clean eating', I really love food too, which clearly is what put me in the morbidly obese category to begin with.  I'm happy to eat healthily, but I enjoy my treats too, especially after a long day with the kids!  My foods/drinks of choice are: Skim Mocha's from a good coffee shop (this I am not willing to forego!), Feel Good Iced Coffee (this I've stopped having), Pepsi Max (I did lapse on this for a while, but I'm back to not having it again), LeRice (these are amazing, and while I won't have them daily, I do enjoy them as a treat), Sushi (this is not 'clean' food because of the white rice), bread (I don't have nearly as much as I used to, but sometimes there's NOTHING better than a Vegemite sandwich on fresh white bread) and Caramel Rice Cakes (these are to die for and great as a quick snack).  Now I don't have all of these things daily, but I generally have the skim mocha and one of the treat foods.  

Exercise wise; I have really come to the conclusion that I don't love Body Attack, Body Pump is fantastic, and I enjoy these classes!  I am happy to do Body Step, but the first 20mins or so does hurt the arch in my foot, I LOVE boxing, and am booked in to do a class of this tomorrow, but this isn't a frequently scheduled class at my gym!  Urban Rebound is great fun and only goes for 30mins, it's jumping on a mini tramp!  I can't always make it to this class, but will do my best!  As far as cardio on the machines goes, I'm sure I'll get back to them one day, but I do prefer the atmosphere of a group class, it goes quicker for one thing!  And in early Feb I'm catching up with a trainer so we can work on what I can do for weights!

Uni is back on Monday, so only 2 more sleeps until school's back for the year!  It doesn't feel like I've had much of a break, which isn't too far from reality really because I've continued to attend antenatal and postnatal appointments and a couple of births.  I love it, but I do live for the day when I can go to work, do 2 or 3 x 8-10hr shifts and come home to normal life.  Only 2 years to go, which if last year is anything to go by, they'll fly!  I start this year with 2 subjects, one is Perinatal Mental Health & the other is Physiological Adaptations in Pregnancy, thankfully I actually have personal experience in both subjects, so I shouldn't struggle too much.  Both also have case studies as assignments, and I enjoy these moreso than writing a straight essay.

Family; family is busy!  Miss 5 is about to start school, and in preparation we're working on behaviours and sleeping patterns.  Since I was pregnant with the triplets she's spent more time sleeping in our room than in her own; she has had a cot size mattress on our floor which she's slept on, but which also means she's disturbed by us, by hubby getting up for work etc.  We knew this wasn't going to work once she was at school so we've put a reward chart in to action for that and a few other things such as no tantrums each day, not annoying or hurting the triplets, putting her clothes away (she gets changed 500x per day), tidying her own room etc.  We must have been doing it for around 7 days, and so far she's going great guns!  Her reward will be a DS when she gets 200 stickers.  Doing the chart she decided to forego small rewards along the way (there's nothing she needs anyway) and save up for the DS that she had desperately wanted for Christmas, but which we didn't buy for her, hopefully this way she'll value it a bit more too!  I am having to take back her 5th portable DVD player tomorrow because they keep malfunctioning!  Talk about frustrating!

The triplets are great! Each of them had their 2nd swimming lesson today, and there's no doubt that they're water babies!  They all LOVE being in, on and under the water which is fantastic given that we live so close to the beach.  Life with them all continues to be hectic, but their little personalities make it all worthwhile (most days!)  I've just read the blog of a girl I know who has infant triplets (about 7 months) and she finds it really hard to get out, and busy in general, and she has help I think full time during the week while her husband is at work?  At that age, we had help for around 6 hours per week, but the rest of the time it was just us (me) and them!  Hubby is a shift worker, so he wasn't always around day or night, but I feel that I did pretty well!  Most days from the time they came home from hospital I got them out of the house, personally I found all of us a lot more tolerable if we went out and did things during the day! As a result they all have amazing social skills, the boys in particular are fantastic with their speech, they share with other kids, they recognise a LOT of what's happening around them and why, and I wouldn't change it for the world!  I sincerely hope that she doesn't end up feeling isolated because of it, because I know it can happen so easily!

Well, that's me done for the day! I've downloaded the latest episode of The Biggest Loser US and have another episode of 'One Born Every Minute' to watch while everyone but me is in bed!

If it helps to give me a topic, feel free!  I'll try to discuss anything that anyone suggests :-)

Watch me transform my body!

30+ kg gone, I'm not even sure how many pounds that is, but my calculations tell me it's around 69lbs?  Wow! That sounds like more than 30kg doesn't it?

So, my body is obviously a LOT better than it was to begin with, it's stronger, fitter, leaner and 100% healthier, but I'm still not completely satisfied!  The triplets have left my stomach in what would normally be unrepairable condition, but I'm lucky enough that I can have surgery, but there's other parts I'm not satisfied with either!  My arms still have bingo wings, that'll be a struggle to change.  My inner thighs have too much fat, diet may help that, and my lower back still has a small hump!  The size of this hump is my best indicator of weight gain/loss.

I've recently started going to the gym again, and the results won't be instant, and I'm not even sure that what I'm doing is the optimal workout for ME and MY body, which is why I'm seeing a trainer for an assessment and program to get what I want and need from the gym!  I see a LOT of women in the Pump, Attack and Step classes that have all the gear and no idea, I don't want to be one of them!  For a start, I can't afford a different Lorna Jane outfit every day of the week!  I don't have the time either to do class after class each and every day! Some days I can do Step & Pump, but my kids hate the creche, and on the days that I only have 1 child, I don't want them to spend a couple of hours in the creche!

The trainer I spoke to today though said that if I go ahead with more weights training, I may have to sacrifice Pump, which I can live with!  It'll be iPod on and up and off I go!  I'm under no illusion though that I do still have a fair bit of body fat to lose, that'll be done through a mixture of cardio and eating!  You can't outrun a bad diet, and skim mocha's, feel good (low fat) iced coffee and even Pepsi Max won't help me achieve the body that I want!  That's not to say I'll never have them again, but they're designed to be 'treat' foods, not part of my daily eating, and on the Weight Watchers plan, my favourite foods which I indulge in almost daily account for at LEAST 11 of my 28 daily points.  When you consider that 7 of those are liquid points, that's a lot of good food I'm missing out on.  

So, at this point I will bare my soul, and bare my body and put the photo's my daughter took this morning up for the world to see!  Well, at least the 7 or so people who have bothered to read my blog!  I promise you, if you continue to follow me, I can be inspiring, I can be motivating, I can be funny, my sense of humour can be dry, I can be brutally honest, I can be your best friend, or your worst enemy, but I won't bullshit you!  I won't justify the things I'm doing wrong with the 'but's....' I'll be accountable for everything I eat, every move I make, and I'll be rewarded with a body I'm truly proud of!

Christmas, Kids, Kilo's and Craziness!

My Dad is from a large family, my husband is from a large family, and we've created what these days is considered... a LARGE family!  Day to day having 4 kids is generally great, we get 4 x the cuddles, 4 x the love, 4 x the tantrums etc.  But at Christmas all chaos reins supreme!  The amount of presents the kids received was extraordinary! And while both they and us certainly appreciate that so many people care enough to buy them gifts, I fear that next year I may have to speak up and ask that changes are made to the gift giving process!

We all know that kids love toys, but they have a favourite that they find and they play with that frequently, they certainly don't have more than a few favourites, and when they get new presents, maybe only 1 of them will join that exclusive group.  So, I have a kitchen table FULL of toys which remain in their boxes, we have 2 drum kits, 2 sets of boy babushka dolls, 3 play doh sets etc.  Miss 5 got a number of presents valued at $20-$30 which she'll open and put away and more than likely forget about because she has so much 'stuff'.  She did get a 2 wheel scooter which is her favourite present, but the rest she's shown little interest in.  Now what she really wanted was a DS, which we were happy for her to have, yet finances didn't allow for one.  But, if each of the people who bought her the smaller gifts had put that money in, she could have got what she 'really' wanted and would have used until it wore out!  Like I said, I'm not ungrateful at all, but 4 kids with 4 lots of presents that are given for the sake of giving a gift, and they don't need so much STUFF! 

One of the things I want to teach our kids is how to value things, how to appreciate the things that you have, and when they have so many things that's a really hard lesson to teach!

So, I'm thinking that next year, I ask each family group to put in what they would have bought, perhaps buy 1 x $50 present for Santa to hand over, but then also have 1 more expensive present that they will get good use out of!

That's the Christmas part out of the way!  Now on to kids!  3 x 2yo's all in cots and eventually someone had to figure out how to climb out of the cot, and my 6pm-7am sleeping patterns have been thrown in to complete and utter chaos!  Day naps are slowly becoming a thing of the past, and this Mumma is going a bit crazy!  I'm not sure where I went right tonight (though hubby is on an afternoon shift?) but they were all asleep in their own beds by 6.17pm! After about two weeks of 8-9pm sleep times and it's a rare treat!

KILO'S, KILO'S, KILO'S, KILO'S & KILO'S.  Yep, add them up! There's 5 of them!  5 have gone on since I went to Port Douglas 1 month and 3 days ago.  Life has been out of control, watching what I eat has gone by the wayside and exercise had become a thing of the past.  But when I hopped on the scales on Wednesday morning (I decided to get Christmas Day out of the way) and I saw how much I'd actually gained, I decided it was time for drastic action!  Boxing Day was watching my food intake, the following day was going to my new gym for a Body Attack & Body Pump class, yesterday was good eating again and today was 30mins of Body Step, 30mins of Body Pump and 30mins of Body Combat!  I'm bringing sexy back!

In February(ish) I'm due to have surgery for my abdo separation and removal of the excess skin, I'm not ashamed of my body, it's carried my 4 children (3 at once), I've done remarkable things. But the abdo separation is a medical, stability, necessary surgery, and the excess skin is a bonus of that!  But having a very good friend who is an amazing photographer, I'm actually thinking of asking her to do a 'before' photo shoot (in underwear) so that I do have a record of what I achieved all on my own before surgery, the scars that came about from surgery that saved my life, and stretching of the skin that is a result of my babies going from embryo's to healthy little babies!

Craziness! Well, life in general is crazy, but I'm doing my very best to be as organised, motivated, calm, serene, happy and active as possible!!

Am I really old enough?

Having dropped the triplets at child care this morning, and leaving the kindergarten after dropping Miss almost 5 off, I was heading down the steps in my trackies and Havi's and was suddenly struck by the realisation that I'm an almost 35yo Mum of 4 little people.

I don't feel old enough for that, I don't think I look old enough!  I know when I tell people that I have 4 children, they often say 'you don't look old enough to have four kids'.  I'm not 18 any more, and while it's been a LONG time since I've lived like an 18yo, I don't feel middle aged either, which realistically is what I'm very rapidly edging towards.  

I'm only now going through University, I've only recently discovered what I want to do with my life!  Have I left my run later than I should have?  Possibly, but I'm now old and smart enough to know that what I put in to Uni is for a good reason, I won't be putting in 3 years of hard work only to decide I really want to be a Marine Biologist instead of a Midwife.

But where has the time gone?  I lost a HUGE part of my 20's being overweight and miserable, I didn't truly live life, and I am forever grateful to myself that I won't be spending the 2nd half of my 30's the same way! My early 30's was about breeding so I could be forgiven for not 'living' the way I could have been, but now I get to look forward, and perhaps this is the right way?  Maybe living life from now with the benefit of wisdom to go with it is the smart thing to do?  I can go out and party and have a few drinks knowing that my 4 little alarm clocks will still wake up at 7am regardless of when Mummy gets home, so I hold back on drinking too much and don't spend a day suffering for it.  I am (usually) happily married, so when I go out I look good for myself, I'm not trying to meet anyone so I don't have that pressure!

A good quote from the Jerry McGuire movie 'I'm not trying to meet a man, I'm not trying to keep a man, I'm trying to RAISE a man'.  So true once you have son's!

But after all of that, my question is, when do we feel old enough?  Do we ever really feel our age?  Maybe when we're 80 our body feels every day of 80, but I'm sure my parents don't feel in their mid 50's!

We spend so much of our early lives waiting to get old enough, and from then on we're back to wishing we were younger!

This is me recently! I don't look a day over well 25? LOL

Take me as I am

The shower is my thinking place, it’s where I have my most brilliant of ideas.  Ten minutes after getting out and having finished washing my hair I am kneeling by the side of my bed typing on my prized possession of the week, my new laptop.  I was struck with the idea of starting a blog, not about one thing in particular but about my life in general.

I’m not brilliant, I’m not what you’d call artistic or creative on a regular basis, though I do have moments of brilliance.  I am a suburban housewife and Mum.  I have 4 children under 5.  My eldest will be 5 next month, and my youngest are two year old triplets.  My husband is in the Police Force, and I’m studying full time to be a midwife.  I’m blessed because I have the chance to do all of these things, and do all of them well.  I’m not a superhero, I’m not trying to prove a point to anyone, or to the world in general, but I’m trying to teach my children lifelong lessons on a daily basis.

It’s not uncommon for people to tell me that I’m amazing, it’s embarrassing more than complimentary, but they don’t mean it that way.  People BB (before blog) have had no qualms about commenting on or questioning every aspect of my life; from my fertility to my sleeping habits. 

This blog is about me, this is telling it like it is, it’s me in the raw.  I don’t suffer fools, I love and loathe Facebook with equal passion.  It’s a train wreck that I just can’t pull myself away from.  Aside from studying and parenting, my other focus is my health and weight loss.  Since the triplets were 9 months I have lost 36ish kg’s, I have run a 12km fun run without stopping, I have changed MY world!

Between vaccuming and trying to clean the kitchen and dining floors which show signs of toddlers and meal times from days ago, I am refereeing a fight between Miss 5 and Mr 2 because he’s stolen her bangle while she’s doing other Mr 2’s hair in a game of hairdresser and client.

A lot of random thoughts later while doing various things around the house (hanging out washing is another of my periods of thinking time) and the following post may come across as a bunch of rambling, but should give some insight in to who I am and what I believe (for those who care!)

I haven’t had a particularly easy life, it hasn’t been particularly hard either; but it’s had its challenges.  I’ve seen hatred and anger and jealousy and bitterness destroy people, sometimes people I love.  I’ve seen people have everything, and then have nothing; or more accurately, they have less material possessions than they had before, yet the lessons they take with them means they actually have more in all of the areas that count.  I’ve seen those who have everything lose people they love, money can’t save lives.  I’ve seen people who believe they never had enough, were never given enough; those who believe they’re entitled are the worst ones.  On the flip side I’ve seen love, hope, devotion, forgiveness, friendship, belief and respect.  More often than not, from the people who never had anything, never felt entitled to anything, you see, these people in truth had it all.

I believe in life, I believe in getting out what you put in.  I believe in hard work and not making excuses…. EVER! 

I’ve read blogs about many subjects; weight loss, pregnancy, infertility.  Weight loss is the one people obsess about the most.  Why is that?  Is it important to be strong or be skinny?  To be beautiful inside or outside?  I’ve battled my own weight loss demons, I’ve worked hard, bloody hard to lose weight but I don’t obsess daily about it.  I weigh daily, but I promise not to bore you with what I weigh each day.  Who cares? Who cares how I lose weight?  What method I use?  What works for me may not work for you anyway. 

I have more friends than acquaintances; I’m somewhat of an acquired taste.  I will say what I think, I won’t sugar coat things for you, friend or not, if I believe in what I’m saying I’ll tell you.  That’s not to say I set out to make enemies, but I won’t tell you he’s the best thing in the world if he’s a tosser!  I won’t tell you that it’s a great idea to marry him if he treats you like shit!  If you want a friend who’ll tell you what you always want to hear, then I’m not that person.  I’ll be honest with you, but I’ll never set out to hurt you!

Until recently a big part of my childhood and my life has been missing.  It’s a relationship I grieved for for a long time, yet I have a second chance.  I finally feel completely complete! 

I love large skim mocha’s.  No matter my eating plan, I plan to drink these!  I don’t drink alcohol (save for the odd Jacob’s Creek Mascato), I don’t smoke anymore,  I don’t do recreational drugs, or gamble, I don’t eat copious amounts of chocolate or take away or chips or biscuits or any of those things, but this is my sanity in a cup!

My husband is my best friend, sometimes my biggest enemy, but that’s because he loves me.  I rub him up the wrong way frequently, but he sees far more good in me than bad.  I know how to push his buttons, and I do but it’s not a power game, it comes with knowing someone as well as you know yourself.  Feeling their frustration, their hurt, their hunger, their determination, their success.  It’s pushing them so that you can push yourself.  He’ s my biggest fan, and I’m his.  Seventeen years we’ve been together, that’s half my life.  We’ve had our ups and downs, but we’ve come through it with a comfortable home and an amazing family.  We’re rewarding ourselves in two weeks with a week in Port Douglas on the Great Barrier Reef.  Our first ‘real’ holiday! The honeymoon we never had. 

I worship my Mum, other than my husband and my kids, she’s my everything.   I’m her only child, my kids her only grandchildren, so we’re her everything too!  She doesn’t bullshit me.  If I’ve put on a couple of kilo’s, she’ll tell me, but not in a bad way, only when I ask!  If I look ridiculous in an outfit, she won’t let me going out looking like a dick.  She doesn’t tell me she loves me or that she’s proud of me, but I know that she does, and I know that she is.  She doesn’t need to tell me, and I don’t feel the need to be told.  She’s always worked hard and she’s always made me proud, as a single Mum she never took handouts; we were the exception where I grew up!  I never went without, EVER!

Losing my Nanna was my biggest loss.  She was my ‘other’ Mum while my Mum worked.  On reflection, maybe my minimal tolerance for bullshit comes from her?  She told it as she sees it, I loved and loathed that, yet maybe I’m just like her?  There’s worse people I could be like!  She’s my childhood of memories; my Christmas mixture, my apricot and chocolate balls, my melting moments, my banana cake or chocolate cake on my birthday, she was my window to real loss and true grief.  Yet she looks over me every single day!  After two and a half years of trying to conceive, I found out on the second anniversary of her death that I was finally pregnant.  When I had a massive blood loss early on, I felt a wave of calm come over me when I smelt her perfume through my bedroom window.  My first daughter carries her name as her middle name.

I like people to be proud of their achievements, and I like to hear about them. It's not being big headed.  Those who work hard and achieve deserve to brag, those who sit on their arse and tell other people how to work after having life handed to them, they're big heads yet they have no life lessons to teach.

Today it ends here, I have lectures to listen to (on the Human Body, I suck at the Human Body!) I have exams this coming week, and the week after, and the week after I get back from Queensland.  I have an assignment to write, I have 4 lunches to pack for tomorrow, I have a uniform to iron, I have a sticky floor to mop, dinner to eat, another load of washing to hang out.  And at some stage, I need to sleep!  I’m not superwoman, I’m just a Mum!