The shower is my thinking place, it’s where I have my most
brilliant of ideas. Ten minutes after
getting out and having finished washing my hair I am kneeling by the side of my
bed typing on my prized possession of the week, my new laptop. I was struck with the idea of starting a
blog, not about one thing in particular but about my life in general.
I’m not brilliant, I’m not what you’d call artistic or
creative on a regular basis, though I do have moments of brilliance. I am a suburban housewife and Mum. I have 4 children under 5. My eldest will be 5 next month, and my youngest
are two year old triplets. My husband is
in the Police Force, and I’m studying full time to be a midwife. I’m blessed because I have the chance to do
all of these things, and do all of them well.
I’m not a superhero, I’m not trying to prove a point to anyone, or to
the world in general, but I’m trying to teach my children lifelong lessons on a
daily basis.
It’s not uncommon for people to tell me that I’m amazing, it’s
embarrassing more than complimentary, but they don’t mean it that way. People BB (before blog) have had no qualms
about commenting on or questioning every aspect of my life; from my fertility
to my sleeping habits.
This blog is about me, this is telling it like it is, it’s
me in the raw. I don’t suffer fools, I
love and loathe Facebook with equal passion.
It’s a train wreck that I just can’t pull myself away from. Aside from studying and parenting, my other
focus is my health and weight loss.
Since the triplets were 9 months I have lost 36ish kg’s, I have run a
12km fun run without stopping, I have changed MY world!
Between vaccuming and trying to clean the kitchen and dining
floors which show signs of toddlers and meal times from days ago, I am
refereeing a fight between Miss 5 and Mr 2 because he’s stolen her bangle while
she’s doing other Mr 2’s hair in a game of hairdresser and client.
A lot of random thoughts later while doing various things
around the house (hanging out washing is another of my periods of thinking time)
and the following post may come across as a bunch of rambling, but should give
some insight in to who I am and what I believe (for those who care!)
I haven’t had a particularly easy life, it hasn’t been
particularly hard either; but it’s had its challenges. I’ve seen hatred and anger and jealousy and
bitterness destroy people, sometimes people I love. I’ve seen people have everything, and then
have nothing; or more accurately, they have less material possessions than they
had before, yet the lessons they take with them means they actually have more
in all of the areas that count. I’ve
seen those who have everything lose people they love, money can’t save
lives. I’ve seen people who believe they
never had enough, were never given enough; those who believe they’re entitled
are the worst ones. On the flip side I’ve
seen love, hope, devotion, forgiveness, friendship, belief and respect. More often than not, from the people who
never had anything, never felt entitled to anything, you see, these people in
truth had it all.
I believe in life, I believe in getting out what you put
in. I believe in hard work and not
making excuses…. EVER!
I’ve read blogs about many subjects; weight loss, pregnancy,
infertility. Weight loss is the one
people obsess about the most. Why is
that? Is it important to be strong or be
skinny? To be beautiful inside or
outside? I’ve battled my own weight loss
demons, I’ve worked hard, bloody hard to lose weight but I don’t obsess daily about
it. I weigh daily, but I promise not to
bore you with what I weigh each day. Who
cares? Who cares how I lose weight? What
method I use? What works for me may not
work for you anyway.
I have more friends than acquaintances; I’m somewhat of an
acquired taste. I will say what I think,
I won’t sugar coat things for you, friend or not, if I believe in what I’m
saying I’ll tell you. That’s not to say
I set out to make enemies, but I won’t tell you he’s the best thing in the
world if he’s a tosser! I won’t tell you
that it’s a great idea to marry him if he treats you like shit! If you want a friend who’ll tell you what you
always want to hear, then I’m not that person.
I’ll be honest with you, but I’ll never set out to hurt you!
Until recently a big part of my childhood and my life has
been missing. It’s a relationship I
grieved for for a long time, yet I have a second chance. I finally feel completely complete!
I love large skim mocha’s.
No matter my eating plan, I plan to drink these! I don’t drink alcohol (save for the odd Jacob’s
Creek Mascato), I don’t smoke anymore, I
don’t do recreational drugs, or gamble, I don’t eat copious amounts of
chocolate or take away or chips or biscuits or any of those things, but this is
my sanity in a cup!
My husband is my best friend, sometimes my biggest enemy,
but that’s because he loves me. I rub
him up the wrong way frequently, but he sees far more good in me than bad. I know how to push his buttons, and I do but
it’s not a power game, it comes with knowing someone as well as you know
yourself. Feeling their frustration,
their hurt, their hunger, their determination, their success. It’s pushing them so that you can push
yourself. He’ s my biggest fan, and I’m
his. Seventeen years we’ve been
together, that’s half my life. We’ve had
our ups and downs, but we’ve come through it with a comfortable home and an
amazing family. We’re rewarding
ourselves in two weeks with a week in Port Douglas on the Great Barrier
Reef. Our first ‘real’ holiday! The
honeymoon we never had.
I worship my Mum, other than my husband and my kids, she’s
my everything. I’m her only child, my
kids her only grandchildren, so we’re her everything too! She doesn’t bullshit me. If I’ve put on a couple of kilo’s, she’ll
tell me, but not in a bad way, only when I ask!
If I look ridiculous in an outfit, she won’t let me going out looking
like a dick. She doesn’t tell me she
loves me or that she’s proud of me, but I know that she does, and I know that
she is. She doesn’t need to tell me, and
I don’t feel the need to be told. She’s
always worked hard and she’s always made me proud, as a single Mum she never took
handouts; we were the exception where I grew up! I never went without, EVER!
Losing my Nanna was my biggest loss. She was my ‘other’ Mum while my Mum
worked. On reflection, maybe my minimal
tolerance for bullshit comes from her?
She told it as she sees it, I loved and loathed that, yet maybe I’m just
like her? There’s worse people I could
be like! She’s my childhood of memories;
my Christmas mixture, my apricot and chocolate balls, my melting moments, my
banana cake or chocolate cake on my birthday, she was my window to real loss
and true grief. Yet she looks over me
every single day! After two and a half
years of trying to conceive, I found out on the second anniversary of her death
that I was finally pregnant. When I had
a massive blood loss early on, I felt a wave of calm come over me when I smelt
her perfume through my bedroom window.
My first daughter carries her name as her middle name.
I like people to be proud of their achievements, and I like to hear about them. It's not being big headed. Those who work hard and achieve deserve to brag, those who sit on their arse and tell other people how to work after having life handed to them, they're big heads yet they have no life lessons to teach.
Today it ends here, I have lectures to listen to (on the
Human Body, I suck at the Human Body!) I have exams this coming week, and the
week after, and the week after I get back from Queensland. I have an assignment to write, I have 4
lunches to pack for tomorrow, I have a uniform to iron, I have a sticky floor
to mop, dinner to eat, another load of washing to hang out. And at some stage, I need to sleep! I’m not superwoman, I’m just a Mum!
